Why this Blog?

For sometime, actually for quite sometime, i have been arguing with myself about God, religion and whole purpose of life etc. I oscillate from an atheist to a god loving and fearing being. I have no qualms though, when i argue against the concept of god, while also folding my hands in prayer. It may reek of double standards, but that hardly makes me unique in this world.

I believe in a supreme being. I believe his name is Krishna, for any other name simply doesnt cut it for me. I believe in him, when i see sun rise with a glory of colours, when i see hear a bird sing a tune, when i see the ocean and its powerful waves, when i see the mountains climbing up to touch the sky, when i see the distant star twinkle in the night, or when during a rare night i can see the milkyway (akash ganga), or even when i think how i am alive today, but just a bones and flesh when a small piece of him goes away from me. I am what i am, because of the life in me, and that according to me is the God i worship, because soon after i am dead, i am referred to as a 'body' that needs to be cremated or buried. But not a person who needs to be fed, bathed, clothed or cared for.

Then again, when i think of God as a person who came and stated things, gave us rules in the form of scriptures, created the wonderful heaven we can gain entry into, or the hell we will burn if we dont obey or pray, i can only see him as a creation of men. Men who felt that they must create some form or being that can be looked up to, by mere mortals, for divine direction. And then after creating the God they wanted, they also went about creating the rules. These rules then evolved (much to the displeasure of the proponents of 'creation' theory) to take new forms and sub-clauses because of new thinking and living. God soon became just a tool, to manage human beings. Lessons of management, teaches us that, when you manage a large group of people, it necessary to divide and organize them, and so we then got ourselves different gods to please each smaller group.

This blog is my way of trying to prove or disprove to myself, whether god exists, god created man, man created god, god gave us scriptures, or did the scriptures define a god. More importantly it is also my theory of God, religion and scriptures, how i approach these and how i use these for my everyday life. I believe in the concept of hinduism, which gives me the utmost freedom in choosing my god and my scripture, in choosing my path to attain moksha. While other religion may offer the same salvation, but my understanding, very limited as it is, indicates that i need to subscribe to stricter path.

I hope to write out my thoughts and explanation to things i see in this universe, when i find a link to my God, or when i feel his hand or touch. And also use this to argue against myself and other views which i dont agree with, in terms of religion, scriptures and god itself. This is a search for truth, and so help me god.